Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The First Time (Again)

You have a date you are very excited for. The joke is that a woman will her shave her legs so they're smooth for the ensuing nakedness they're anticipating. A man will check the condom in his wallet to make sure it hasn't expired. It's the first date, though. Neither of the two people really know if there will be any sex, but the excitement is there, nevertheless.

It's almost always the same situation: you've exhausted the Ex Sex, tired of one-night stands, and are finally ready for mind-blowing relationship sex again. Well, you're almost there. One problem: you still haven't figured out when the right time is.

The First Time is important and should be a memorable experience in a relationship. Cosmo says to wait one month. One. Month. I don't know many couples, outside of high school, who have waited that long.In fact, hats off to those who have. But let's be honest. Sexual chemistry is undeniable and hard to resist. I can't give you a hard answer as to how long you should wait, but here are some guidelines and things to consider before your next First Time:

1. Never on a first date. Ever. The only thing worse than no second date is no second date after they've seen you naked.

2. A hot, heavy make-out session is essential on a date prior to the one you have sex on. Consider it a pre-requisite. This is an excellent way chance to assess a few things: how good your partner is at making you feel good, and how well they restrain when you say "not yet". And third, most importantly, whether or not they are open to another date once they know it will take time to bed you.

3. Condoms. It doesn't matter if a woman is on the Pill/Shot/Patch/what-have-you or if he was tested 6 months ago. Diseases take time to show up and, let's face it, a lot can happen in 6 months. Unless you have been celibate for 6 months since you were tested, you could have anything.

4. Take your time when it comes to doing the deed. This is the first time you guys are being intimate. Do you really want it to be a haphazard, sloppy drunk, five-minute nightmare? I'm not saying you have to light candles and play smooth jazz (though that is nice), but try to make it something worth smiling about for a long time.